Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships

Author - Randy Frazee ... [Goo?] [Posters]

This Hardcover Book item from Zondervan was reviewed on 10-Oct-2008.

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1) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. Although the beginning of this book has some good insights about the current chaotic state of many families and why change is important, once you get into the heart of it, it´s not ideal for many families. He suggests a fairly regimented schedule to keep families balanced. Although this may seem ideal, I´m not sure its realistic. There are too many unique factors in families such as kids with learning disabilities, etc., which would prevent this plan from working well. There are things from the book which can be implemented though so its worth checking out. Gain what you can from it but don´t feel bad if it´s not a good plan for your family.¤

2) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. Randy Frazee is correct. We do need to make room for life. In a culture that is individualistic, narcissistic, and pragmatic, the great need of our time is to return to the relational life we were meant to live--the life God created us to live, the kind of relational life that brings about life transformation and allows us to live the Abundant Life.

For calling the church back to that life, I applaud Frazee, but I do not believe his solution is necessarily relevant or realistic today. (Other reviews do a good job of outlining the book, so I´ll resist the urge to do more of that here.) Yes, we need to be counter-cultural--maybe even revolutionary--from our society in our our approach to life. But the ancient Hebrew Day Calendar is, I believe, simply archaic. What worked well 2,000 years ago may very well be outmoded and obsolete today. Also, I see it as a simplistic, pragmatic solution, rather than a vision for a new way to look at life.

When I first read Making Room for Life when it was first published several years ago, I liked it´s main message, and I made some changes in my life to live out the values Frazee advances, for instance sitting in our front yard more so that I can connect and build community in our neighborhood. I went to hear him speak on this three separate times, and sat there nodding my head in agreement each time. His vision is all good stuff, but he spends a lot of time advocating the Hebrew Day Calendar, which, while thought-provoking, left me perplexed and frustrated with trying to implement it.

Here´s the thing. As a small group pastor, I´m passionate to see people in my church connect in what I call "radically real relationships" in Christian community. But I also know that almost everything in our culture creates huge barriers for people to actually live this way. The #1 excuse for not being in a small group is busyness. And yet, according to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube. It seems people would rather watch people living relationally than actually living that way themselves. Perhaps it´s safer for them that way. Yes, I desperately want to see people connect in community, but I know that I need to offer them more than simplistic, archaic, programmatic solutions. They need to change their attitudes first.

My advice: If you are going to buy a book on making room for life, get Scott Boren´s book, The Relational Way: From Small Group Structures to Holistic Life Connections. Boren references Making Room for Life in his book, and even borrows one of Frazee´s illustrations to make a vital point. Frazee also wrote one of the two Forewords for Boren´s book. But to me, The Relational Way provides much more practical theology, relevancy, and real-world insights. (See my review of the book on its product page or my Profile Page.)

If I were to buy just one book on the topic, I´d have to make room on my bookshelf for The Relational Way.¤

3) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. Having read through the book, I decided to teach a class based on it. The ´Married With Young Children´ age group that I teach stuggle to develop close relationships because of the hectic schedules they keep. Going from activity to activity threaten´s the framework of their marriage as well as creating a less than ideal situation to raise and nurture their children. Although some of what Mr. Frazee presents would be very difficult for most to adopt, much of the book is very practical and if nothing else, drives home the importance of developing a close and personal relationship with our children that many of us have or are currently missing out on.¤

4) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. What if you could.......

Get all your work done by 6:00 PM?
Eat dinner with your family every night?
Form deep, satisfying relationships?
Naturally blend the world of church with your everyday life?
Spend hours a week on your hobbies?

YOU CAN! Making room for Life reveals how to make all of these things a reality. Not by working faster or having more gadgets, but by simply choosing a lifestyle of conversation and community over a lifestyle of accumulation.

Randy Frazee´s practical, motivating insights call you back to the kind of relationships and life rhythms you were created to enjoy. In this book, he shows you how and why it´s so important - to balance work and play, establish healthy boundaries, deal with children´s activities and homework, bring Jesus to your neighbors, and build authentic bonds with a circle of close friends. Share these insights with those around you and help usher in an amazing transformation: your life and the lives of others blooming, in the midst of the chaos and fragmentation of today´s culture, into communities of purpose and peace.¤

5) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. This is such a simple book to read and yet it may have the most profound impact on our lives - I hope and pray! We fit exactly the type of family who desperately needs this book: suburban, near a very large, fast-paced city and living somewhat frazzled, disconnected lives (other than with our children) because we are working all hours of the day (my husband) and our church and church friends are 30-45 minutes away. Frazee talks about how the greatest problem in the American Church today is our fragmented lives - the fact that we have so many relationships with many different groups of people, and rarely do these groups overlap. My husband and I have bemoaned for years now that we are not able to "do life" with those in our small group nor church as we live all over the city. I have also felt for a long time that not observing a Sabbath Day (one of the Ten Commandments) is one of the greatest sins of omission of our church today and in our lives personally. Frazee´s book resonates with us to the core! And, I might add, that we are parents of 2 children under age 3 and that my husband works from home - often working evening hours and weekends since he can wrap up for early dinners and time with the kids. While we may not be able to implement everything that Frazee urges (I sure would like him to address those with preschoolers), we are already praying about what kind of changes we can make. We can live with the tension of it not really fitting our life-stage exactly as we trust God to show us how to build community right here in our neighborhood/community. It is a beautiful picture of what life CAN be and what we were created for - deeper relationships and more sane living. You must read this book for the picture he paints of family dinner time, if nothing else. While we do eat dinner together every night as a family, I love his vision of making it a reward and festive occasion at the end of every day and also of enfolding others into it. Beautiful! It is also a book that has given me permission to take the time I need to step back from the frenzy, refresh my soul, and to consider finding a church closer to our home sooner rather than later. Thank you, Randy Frazee and thank you, Lord Jesus! May we trust Him for the wisdom and application in our specific lives.¤

6) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. This thought-provoking book exposes the chaos and pressure of “normal” living and points toward a better life where community and church are authentic, rich, and as close as the neighbors on your street.¤

7) Hardcover Book Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships by Zondervan. This superb workbook has an enormous audience: Christians whose lifestyles have gotten too hectic and over-scheduled. The American plague of busy-ness has caused epidemic fatigue and spiritual discontent--crippling the love and connection within many households, according to Randy Frazee, a senior pastor of Pantego Bible Church in Fort Worth, Texas and author of The Connecting Church. Frazee is a warm, self-revealing, and sensible narrator--like a Christian Dr. Phil, counseling readers on how to get their priorities straight. He talks about our ridiculously over-reaching lifestyles (admitting his own tendencies) and suggests calling day planners "24/7 planners" or "Chaos Planners." He asks readers to consider organizing their days into a "Hebrew Day Planner"--meaning following God´s design of integrating a day of rest into the week. "If we violate this design, we are abusing our bodies and souls, and little by little we diminish our effectiveness," he writes.

Frazee is adamant when it comes to re-shaping the family lifestyle. For instance, he confronts parental over-achieving and workaholic tendencies with a loving vengeance. According to Frazee, "Dragging our children away from home in the late afternoon and evening hours to transport them to adult-driven, highly structured, age-graded activities" can result in many losses for children--including less creative play, less chances to for leadership or mentoring, a strain on health (too much fast foods and too little rest), and the loss of the family meal. He devotes numerous pages to the "slow food movement"--offering suggestions for reclaiming the family meal with easy family recipes, setting the table, saying grace, and cultivating dinner conversation. Like a good workbook--Frazee includes an interactive section at the end of each chapter for jotting down thoughts and noting "personal action steps" as well as suggestions for leading a small group discussion. Devout Christian or not--this is an excellent basic book for many frantic households. --Gail Hudson¤

Page Updated: Robert N. Goolsby, 7-Nov-2008, 0310250161025986250164, 460-890-610-130-030-080-370-8

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